Equally Bright
by Invalid Houteishiki
Summary: Kiku realizes that Alfred loves Ivan. He wonders if he should disappear before their friendship gets in the way of their love, but Alfred isn't the type to choose between his best friend or his lover.


For my best friend's birthday.

I don't own Hetalia Axis Powers.

* * *

"Alfred-san."

Under billions of stars, the wind danced to the rhythm of nocturnal calls and the limelight of the moon. There was Alfred F. Jones, a beautiful youth befitting the clear night sky, sitting by a startled Japanese. Honda Kiku had never been a spiteful figure, and in fact, he was usually quite the opposite. Yet, the tone in which he addressed the equally startled Alfred was indeed harsh, whether it was intended to be or not.

Realizing what he had done, Kiku hastily apologized, his pale knuckles clutching at the fabric near the knees of his kimono. Flashes of worry crossed the American's eyes, but his hand lingered in the air with nowhere to go. Time could only be measured by the constant heartbeats, and the silence only broken by the irritable chirps.

Slowly, slowly it started to dawn on them both that change was nearby. It was inevitable, and even they had no say. The light wind fluttered over the jet black bangs, illuminating tears that seemed to reveal its luster from night itself. It was because Kiku was crying, remembering how the fragrance of rose had melted into the gentle smell of eastern incense, and now noticing it fade away into an aroma of baked sunflowers. It was a deathly slow but gradual process that seemed to erase and rewrite over established relations. So after that, each and every lukewarm breeze would remind the Japanese about how much of their friendship was being devoured by the steady mask of obsession and love.

They said they were best friends, but could friendship ever be chosen over love?

Because Alfred was in love with Ivan, and Kiku noticed this. He noticed it in the way that the American seemed to search out his adversary as if they were the opposite charges of magnets, and also in the way that they eyed each other. Fiercely, but as if they shared a common secret no one else could pry into. Soon they were especially fussy with each other's lifestyles, but the brunette was the only one to notice that it was signs of affection and not what others perceived as endless quarreling.

And it was because the Japanese considered himself to be the American's best friend. They had also been enemies until Alfred had slapped the final sense into the stubborn Asian country, and from then on Kiku found himself gazing almost automatically at the blonde. Almost, since he had enough self restraint and pride to keep himself away. Almost, but he was glad he didn't let his eyes wander away.

Besides the warm scent of sunflowers, Alfred's white shirt was neatly ironed. Anyone could tell even without having observation skills that the small brunette possessed because it was out in plain view, the usual bulky jacket useless in the summer's soaking heat. Kiku laid his dull earth colored eyes over the tan arms and twitched the corners of his tiny mouth into an upward curl.

"Alfred-san," His voice was dry, but more pleasant this time. "Please become happy."

_Without me…_

It was perhaps the difference of age, where spontaneous emotions could quickly be hidden away by very fake self assurance. Alfred frowned and would have none of it, not understanding the carefully shut in introspective thoughts that Kiku hid within his mind. He would instead take it as sarcasm, or some joke of the wise. Apparently, he didn't find his own crisp shirt taunting, usually coming to the Asian's house in lazy sweats.

"What are you saying?" The blonde sighed. He put his hand back down on the wooden porch and shrugged. "Are you trying to get rid of me? I'm sorry, I won't talk about Russia-I forgot you don't get along."

Kiku sucked in his breath and realized for the first time that Alfred really had no idea why he was so upset. Get along? No they didn't, but that wasn't it at all.

This insecurity started when he had secluded himself. He relied on no one, and was incredibly frightened of the outside. Even when he did open up, it was difficult. When he found himself settling with a group called the Axis, he noticed how Germany and Italy seemed closer out of the trio. It was fine…it was okay…he was fine with being alone. Somewhere in Kiku's mind, he could faintly recall when he was friends with England, only noticing that now, Alfred and Ivan shared the similar kind of relationship as England and France.

The Allies also had an odd number of members. Possibly, Kiku grouped Alfred as the same. Where at the time, Ivan had been close to his own brother, Yao. Maybe it was his human way of thinking that brought on more of this insecurity after he realized he had no one near him. He's an island which meant completely alienated from other lands and only bordering the ocean. The Japanese didn't have a definite best friend until the giant country's helping hand.

Kiku thought…if he was going to be abandoned, he would rather abandon first. He didn't want to relearn loneliness the hard way. If he distanced himself slowly, he thought there would be less damage. It really wasn't so.

Despite his age, he found himself feeling quite lost and wounded. After another moment, he found himself asking the youth, "Do you think that the dark and light could ever be friends?"

Alfred didn't really question the sudden random inquiry. Kiku worked in ways he didn't really understand. The blonde never really knew what the other was thinking. So looking up at the sky for inspiration, he answered the best he could.

"You told me once," He began. "That the moon could only shine from the sun's light. There- see it's shaped like a tipped over UFO right now because there's the part of the moon that doesn't produce it's own light."

Alfred pointed to the dark side of the moon and Kiku traced a line with his eyes, all the way upward to where he was pointing.

"But I think it's not just the sun," He grinned broadly. "The moon equally needs the darkness of the sky to become that bright."

Kiku blinked. Alfred kept on smiling, almost knowingly.

"I need you just as much as Ivan."

Youth could encourage creativity rather than knowledge, and perhaps the brunette underestimated the boy. Kiku sighed and brushed away tears from his reddening cheeks as he pushed a laughing bulk of blonde mass into the pond.


End file.
